Guidance and Advocacy for Evolving Families

Ruston Law, San Luis Obispo, California - Guidance and Advocacy for Evolving Families.  Divorce mediation, parenting coordination, juvenile dependency, counsel for minor.

How Not to Be the Biggest Loser: Games Divorced Parents Should Never Play With Their Kids

Christina Pesoli, Huffington Post

“Your kids know that if they give you even the faintest whiff of any of that, you'll back down on whatever you're asking of them and start showering them with perks again. Because in the end, all that really matters to you is winning the competition against your ex.  In this super no-fun game, you not only cease to be an effective parent, you interfere with their relationship with their only other parent. And on top of all of that, you teach them to be emotionally manipulative and condition them to think that all of this is all part of a normal family dynamic.”

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Reducing Divorce Conflict for the Sake of your Child

by Philip Stahl, Ph.D.

“If you continue fighting after your divorce, your children will become disillusioned and disgusted. When parents divorce, children at least hope the fighting will go away so that they can get some peace in their life. Many times I have heard children say that they wouldn't mind the divorce so much if their parents would finally learn to get along better. After the divorce, all children really want is for their parents to act grown up, leave them in peace, and let them love the other parent. Instead, when conflicts worsen, children are left with many wounds.”

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New Ways for Families now offers an online co-parenting class for high-conflict parents.

“This 12-Session class includes practicing the 4 Big Skills of New Ways for Families to manage many difficult situations during separation or divorce - PLUS, loads of additional information to help parents navigate changing family relationships inside and outside of family court – especially during a potentially high-conflict divorce, including anger management issues.”

Link to site for more information

Kate Scharff's review of "Split: A Film for Kids of Divorce (and their Parents)"

View Kate Scharff's blog at

““Split” fills an important niche in the existing body of materials available to parents, children, and divorce professionals.  It’s not just a pitch perfect conversation starter for reeling kids.  It’s also a call for grownups to relinquish our collective preoccupation with parents’ rights and the elusive “best interests of the children,” and to put our attention back where it belongs– on the all-too-real subjective experiences of our actual children.”

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Link to film trailer

12 Things Kids Think About Divorce But Are Too Afraid To Say

by Tara Kennedy-Kline

“I would really appreciate it if the two of you could stop acting like children and come up with a plan that allows you to be in the same space at the same time without being mean to each other. For example: my birthday, sports events, recitals, concerts, and basically any time my other family, friends, coaches or teachers are around. If you could manage to put your own selfish crap aside and be civil with each other every once in a while, that would be great for everyone.”

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